Older Now
by DigitalFlagDancer
Summary: Distancing himself from his former teammates and suffering from a case of unrequited love, Koushiro is beginning to lose hold of his happiness. But what if the one he loves actually loves him back? Taishiro.
1. Chapter 1

**Older Now**

**By DigitalFlagDancer**

**Chapter One**

Sitting in my chair at home, staring at the same old reliable computer screen I've entrusted with all my work ever since before even our fist trip to the Digital World, thoughts crawl through my mind at the speed of a slug. Slow, very slow, but creeping along nonetheless, and leaving behind the moist trail of their prescence with each and every lurch. Their slime, this metaphorical biproduct, has coated my cerebrum in its entirety, leaving nothing on my mind but the images and regrets of my almost non-existant relationship with the very one whose approval I am always seeking through every last one of my endeavors: The reason for my ambition. My persistence, my drive, my supposed calling in life: It is true that technological advances once reaped the majority of my attention, intellectual and (what little I then thought I had) emotional focus, but this idea, no matter how oft it is still believed by those around me to be my defining factor, has been long negated ever since my second sight of the one whose image coats my mind in the actual thought processes of my each and every day: He has changed me. For the better. But sometimes I feel like I'm the only one whose noticed.

I can't say that he fascinated me on my first glance of his physique, nor from the first few strings of words which we exchanged: Such ideals of "first sight love" are oft quite foolish and fictitious when applied to the romantic rays of any two people's first interactions. These greeting words, these first impressions, are, at least in my experience, generally very short and vague, not telling of any future implications of the relationship's nature or its importance. It's course, its stride, its destined longevity: None of these things can be determined just by one's first perception of a newly met person. The second glance, similiarly, rarely ushers in the first played strings of true love's harp: And yet the term "second glance" is still the one I prefer to use when thinking of how I first fell for my Taichi-san.

The word glance in this manner does not mean "look" or "time seeing" as it so often does in the movies or my fellow teenagers supposed love lives, but instead stands for a period, a time, and that timespan's way of seeing. A type of outlook, a phase of seeing, not the actual second catch of the iris. No, I'm afraid I don't remember what I thought the first time I met Taichi at that summer camp, or the second time I saw him, or the third or fourth time for that matter. I'd imagine those initial looks were simply glances in his direction upon my first arrival and taking my things into our group's shared cabin. They did not reflect the same care or longing which would later fill my thoughts and sights of him: These came with my second glance. Or should I say, perception.

My first glance was that Taichi was a sociable, extroverted, somewhat (though not insultingly) dim-witted individual who was sure to try and push me outside my comfort zone several times during our stay at camp for the next month or so. Not that I found him annoying or some sort of nuisance, I actually thought he seemed rather nice for a jock. I just didn't want to be pressured to interact with the other kids so much: I was far too afraid of them for that. In some ways I still am, for that matter. But current feelings withstanding, that was my first glance of Taichi: A nice, though uncomfortably sociable soccer player with whom I'd be spending the next four weeks at camp. It seems, or, rather, it is now a well-known fact, that this perception (and this preconceived idea of the length of our vacation) was not meant to last. And so came my second dawning, a new impression.

When we were first transported to the Digital World I largely let myself fall into a pit of my own thoughts: A highly intrigued and intellectual pit, but a pit nonetheless. I did not seek comfort for my fears from the rest of the DigiDestined, rather I did not feel much fear on most occasions to begin with. To be perfectly honest, I found the Digital World to be the most intriguing thing I'd ever seen and could not wait to advance further and further on through File Island to learn more and more about that strange new continent: and later on that whole strange new world. It was a wish which would largely be fulfilled, as I travelled to Server, climbed up Spiral Mountain, examined many ancient ruins, deciphered alien codes, and discovered the true nature of the Digital World's relationship with our own planet Earth. The whole adventure was just chock full of mysteries and suspicions which I could not wait to investigate and discover. Moreso, I continued to throw myself into my computer, a bright yellow and white pineapple labtop, rather than taking the time to truly get to know my fellow adventurers.

This was at first, at least. As time moved on I began to move slightly farther away from my previous mildly anti-social behaviors and find my place as an equal member of our world-saving troup. With my change in position and temperament came closer friendships and bonding, which proved my lifeline throughout much of my adolescence as I began to grew up, even if they weren't the deepest or most open venues at the dawn of their formation.

It was with this change in attitude and social status that my opinions on Tai began to change. When we first entered the Digital World I questioned his ability to lead us logically and with success but it was not long before my doubts began to fade as he proved himself time and time again the best man for the job. He was the glue that held the team together, afterall: Good friends with Sora, a second older brother figure for T.K., a slight calming influence for Joe, friendly rival for Matt, and humorous acquaintance for Mimi. Not to mention an object of much affection and adoration from me. Yes, my feelings broadened and matured to become perhaps the most fond of him besides of course his sister, Kari. But even she and I see him in entirely different ways, and mine are much more needing in nature: As the years have passed, I have developed a need to feel his prescence. To be his accomplish, to come to his aid. To always be there and hope that he would do the same for me. Which, invariably, he would, and has. Just not in the ways which I would most like for him to, primarily because I have never told him.

You see, as Tai led us valiantly against evil Digimon after evil Digimon I began to admire the strategies and cunning which he would often use in battle: He proved himself much more than a big-haired, slightly dim jock with a sunny disposition. He was truly intelligent, even if sometimes lacking in the most basic common sense. And who am I to critiscize, when my own social skills are lower than his I.Q. scores? Intelligence is relative, fluid, debatable: Its perceived prerequisites change from person to person and from category to category. In terms of being a good leader, brave, strong, and always there for the team, Tai scored perhaps the highest diligence which I have ever seen in anyone. He was truly awe-inspiring, and so it was during the last of our days on File Island that I began to see him in a different light than I had originally.

Brave, reckless, fierce, impulsive, Yagami Taichi was at times a walking contradiction. Putting dents in my computer yet showing more wisdom than all of its files combined, he was the first person who I ever truly felt myself become in awe by other than my parents. He was the bridge that connected to the larger group as a whole: Through him I saw strength and promise, and the hope for stronger friendships. The hope that I could let others in. And so I did. Or at least tried, anyway. I have yet to share my emotional entirety with another person.

As we progressed through the continent of Server I began to feel my feelings of adoration for Taichi develope into something deeper: I began to find myself using my genius in ways which I hoped would garner his appreciation, foster some speck of acceptance or liking from the boy whose own ambition became the new driving reason for mine. When we went onboard Kokatorimon's ship right before we found Mimi's crest, I felt the audible stirrings of my sexual likings come alive for the first time. Up until that point I had never really thought about sex or love, or any deeper connection with another person, male or female. But the first time I saw his chest, (and yes, this is an actual first glance moment), I could feel my heart flutter loudly. Strangly and softly yet prickly, grabbing my attention even without so much as a pang. Instead I felt what I can only describe as a strange gust of wing, some sort of breeze shooting forth all its air through the space right beneath my skin. It was a first, and a rather odd one at that, but even as inexperienced and denial stricken as I was back then in both my sexuality and personal issues (such as the fact of my adoption), I knew instinctively what the gust meant. And from the first wind's blow I accepted it as what it was: I took solace in my emotions for what may very well have been the first time and did not allow any questions of logic or doubt creep up or interfere with the truth that now so plainly gripped me.

Not that I ever thought these feelings illogical—quite the opposite in fact, as I would begin to count all of the many ways in which I was attracted to our leader, and all the reasons for my infatuation, which would before long grow beyond infatuation and become a force with such undeniable force and power that I consider it a vital part of my life today—even if I have yet to act on it. If I even ever will. It's just that, when I accepted my feelings for Taichi, I began to think with my emotions for the first time that I can ever remember. I did hide from my feelings like I did when confronted with the truth about my parentage or the loneliness that I never acknowledged but which nevertheless marked my childhood. Instead I took my emotions as they were: True, pure, and justified. It was that windy feeling in my chest, that feeling of being exposed to something truly captivating and beyond my own self, that assured me that it was okay to give my heart reign and begin to feel for myself as a person: To let my fears show, to let my grins widen, to let each and every thought become more genuine: More honest. The truth, my emotions, were no longer buried. I began to think in terms of sensation, rather than just fear and guilt.

As time continued to move on more and more my feelings for Taichi only deepened. During our time back home on Earth during the fight with Myotismon, I came to terms with a lot of different parts of myself. I admitted to my parents that I knew about my adoption and let myself become close to them for the first time since almost infanthood. Through the truth of our somewhat separated blood came the knowledge that our mental and emotional bonds were as close and strong as such emotions are capable of being. My confidence in Tentomon over my personal issues led to us strengthening our bond as well, and we truly became each other's best friends: There for each other, no matter what. It was in the real world that I finally felt at ease with the rest of the DigiDestined, as well. Something about going back home and settling one of my deepest fears just...awoke a part of me that I had never even known was there. A part of me that was capable of closeness, compassion, friendship, and loving: All in ways which felt truer and deeper than anything I had ever so much as dreamed of feeling before.

It was in this newfound spirit of belonging and confidence that I first told another person about my feelings for Taichi-san: Tentomon being the wonderfully understanding reiceiver of my news. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when he didn't reject me or so much as question my feelings for Taichi—after all, why would he? If Digimon had much knowledge or understanding of romantic love as is felt among humans, they certainly never seemed to have any underlying beliefs about who a person should or should not be attracted to. Tentomon in particular did not believe that I should have any limits pressed upon me: He believed in me from the very start, and for that I am greatful. He didn't even experience any trouble understanding my feelings from the standpoint that it was romantic to begin with: When I told him that I now cared for Taichi-san as more than a friend, he simply asked me, "By 'more than a friend', do you mean that you feel about him as your parents seem to feel about each other?" "Yes," I answered, and so he understood. For being an alien, electronic, insectlike...Tentomon was perhaps the most understanding person I had ever met. And it was with this admittance of everything, of my blood relations _and_ true mental bonds to family, my fears when it came to socializing with other people, and my feelings of affection and compassion for my Taichi-san that I truly transformed into a new person:

A new Izzy. A new Koushiro, as I much prefer to be called. A new Izumi, a new DigiDestined: A new person who was healthy, intelligent, and loved, confidant in the validity of his feelings as a human being. It was with this new sense of self that I grew closer and closer to my teammates as we returned to the Digital World and fought the Dark Masters, as we returned home after our initial adventures: United in teamwork, in friendship, and self-discovery; and united in mourning when we had to part from our partners.

On our last day in the Digital World, I cried like a baby, also for the first time in years besides when my parents told me about my adoption. I couldn't believe that I was being separated from my best friend. For some reason Tentomon couldn't come with me to the real world and I couldn't stay in the Digital World with him. There were to be no visits: no future meetings, nor tearful reunions. Nothing. For all that I knew, the two of us were saying goodbye forever. And so I cried. And nearly squished my insect friend to death while hugging him farewell.

It was a bittersweet moment: We were united in honesty once again, but this time of a fact we had both known all along: That we each needed the other as much as we needed food, water, or shelter. And they say that home is where the heart is, so a large part of my home, my shelter, had to stay behind in the Digital World while I returned home to my parents. I was happy to see them again, to be back on Earth away from all the danger and tumult that being a DigiDestined had insued: But still I felt torn. I would have rather fought the Dark Masters ten times over and on my own than have to adjust to a life without Tentomon. From the time we returned home, I was never really the same. As happy and open as my relationship with my parents, the absence of my best friend left a hole and a sadness that could not be denied. My parents knew this, and did their best to comfort me, but as all my fellow DigiDestined know, there's just nothing to be done about such feelings. They just are.

And time did not heal them: A miracle did. Or, rather, fate I guess, but in certain instances fate can seem very much like a miracle, as it did when were summoned back to the Digital World to see our partners once again. Though we had to give up the power of our crests and thus seemingly said goodbye to the days of worldsaving and adventure, it was all that any of us ever needed simply to be reunited with our best friends, and on a permanent basis. We could now go to the Digital World almost as often as we liked, digiports permitting which they most often did whenever the need to see my best friend again became too much to bare.

There was one person who struck my mind nearly as much as my friend during the period of time before we returned to the Digital World: Yagami Taichi-san. Still a good friend as he had become during our days as the DigiDestined, Taichi remained every bit as friendly and compassionate after our adventures as he had been when we faced off against all of our insanely powerful enemies. If anything, me and Taichi's relationship blossomed in the months after our adventure's end: As sad as the lack of contact with our partners was, and as difficult and surreal as the adjustment back to ordinary life was on all of those affected, Taichi-san never failed to greet me with a smile whenever we came together to talk, hang out, or just kick back and watch a movie. I became a regular visitor to his house, becoming well-acquainted with his parents and gaining in happiness as I found another friend to confide my feelings in.

Confide them easily I did not do at first: Despite our new closeness it was something that took me much time to truly grow into. Mainly because no matter how good of friends we had become, I always knew that I wasn't brave enough to confide to him my feelings for him: I was not strong enough. Or rather, I believed I was strong enough to handle the reaction which I feared would follow such statements of honesty. Though never quite scared that he would hate me forever and consider me a freak, I felt deep anxiety over the idea that he would feel awkward around me after my confession, distance himself away from me, and ultimately conclude that I was strange or a freak, even if he never said so much to my face.

Why I never told him, I don't know. I truly don't. Sure, I was afraid to share my feelings and face what I thought was an almost guaranteed rejection, but it truly could not have been as hard of a confession to make then as it feels like it would be now. Three years have passed since our original adventures in the Digital World and there is a new group of DigiDestined fighting against the counterpart new generations of evil in the Digital World and beyond. They have done an exemplary job thus far of protecting the Digital and human worlds and spreading peace and harmony, but their job is still quite far from over. Even now that they've converted Ken Ichijoji, the former Digimon Kaiser, into the latest addition to their new team, they still face mysterious and terrifying foes in the like of Arukenimon and BlackWarGreymon. I wish them luck, I really do, and I do everything I can to support them in any way possible.

And so that brings me back to what I suppose is the root of my problems: I don't feel needed anymore. I know that it's wrong to worry over such a trivial thing, such a logically unsound assumption that my worth has somehow lowered, but I just don't feel like I belong with this new group. As the time past between our old adventures and those of this new team, I slowly began to revert back to my old ways: After a while Taichi became involved with Sora and had less time to spend with me, which, though painful, was in some ways a blessing because I don't think I could handle the sight of the two of them together. Nonetheless, I was there for Taichi when their relationship ended and forced myself to listen through all his painful declarations of his feelings for Sora and the affections he held for someone else. After the couple broke up, me and Taichi began to spend a little more time together again: But the damage had been done. I had been painfully reminded of the truth I'd been withholding from my friend and exposed to the truth that I was not the one he felt affection for: I was not the one whom he admired, as I so deeply admired him.

Thus, even though, we remained good friends on the surface, things were never truly the same between Taichi and I after his relationship with Sora. As a rule I became sadder, losing the still quiet but sunny disposition it had taken me so long the build for my original reserved and lonely temperament: I was able to fake that I was okay to my parents and friends, most of the time. But I think they all knew that something was wrong. When I dodged telling anyone the true source of my pain, however, they gave me my space and thus I got no further questions. Just silence, as they gave me the space to revert back to my old self. My right, I suppose, as much as I regret it.

Believe me, my friends all tried to cheer me up: Especially my Taichi-san, who would invite me over for movie marathons and ask me, with genuine care in his voice, just what was wrong and he told me that he would always be there for me. I knew that he believed that he meant what he said, and most likely would not hate me if I revealed the truth, but still I could bare the thought of my Taichi-san ever thinking of me in an ashamed or awkward way, and so I could not tell him. I wouldn't. I couldn't bare the thought of having him distance himself from me, even if I was just effectively doing the same by refusing to tell him the truth. Hypocrisy has become my code, when it comes to my romantic thoughts at least.

And so it has remained for years, as questions have lessened along with personal contact with my fellow DigiDestined. Sure, I'm there to help out the new team on their missions, probably more often than any of my fellow ex-adventurers, but I'm never really _truly_ with any of them, never connecting or building back upon the strong bonds which I had worked so hard to forge. I gave it up, and so fell my happiness. Even now, I feel unneeded. Unwanted. Unneeded by the younger team in that as useful as I may be I'm not truly close to any of them, not even Takeru and Hikari, and unwanted for the obvious reason that I know my Taichi does not feel for me as I do for him.

This knowledge is among the most painful that I have ever had to endure, and I truly wish I did not know it: That I had some hope, some fool's hope for chance: But at this point, I highly doubt it. And nonetheless, the hurting grows. The need to tell him the truth is strengthening, growing ever more urgent and necessary every time I see his face or talk to him while aiding the new team on a mission. The years have passed and my hopes, what little ones I had for us before, have been squashed. I've convinced myself that I have no chance, and I just can't take it. It's reached the point where I have to force myself not to ask to talk privately every time I see him and refuse his offers to hang out and have fun simply because I know that if I was to accept his propositions I'd end up telling him how I feel before the night was done. And this I cannot do: I know that I need to, the urge burns in my chest as if the wind behind my chest had caught flame and now leaves singes upon my heart, but I cannot allow myself to be humiliated. To be rejected. To lose what still remains of me and Taichi's close-knit bond. Its there, undamaged, just waiting to be resumed: I know it is. But I cannot rekindle it, not when I know I'll just crush it with my craving for honesty.

So here I am, sitting in my rolley chair in front of the same computer which I so often used to help save the world three years ago and sometimes even today. Here I am, sitting alone while several groups of the other DigiDestined are out hanging out and having fun all around town while I get a head start on an essay that won't be due for another three weeks. Here I am, revisiting the past in my mind, recalling how close used to be to all my friends and family before I saw Taichi with someone else and fell into a pit of depression which I have yet to climb out from. I doubt that I will do it soon: I simply am not strong enough.

I'm sitting here in my rolley chair, thinking about all that has been and could be within my mind, when I hear the phone ring and its vibrations startle me: I jump in my seat, before looking at the caller I.D.: It reads "Yagami." Taichi is calling me? Why? He hasn't called me in over two months. Anxiously, I force myself to pick up the phone: "Hello?"

_Holy crap...I haven't written something this long in...a long time. I don't know if I've ever written so much in one (barely interupted) sitting. Plus it just flowed out...I know I'm really bad about updating my other fics but I honestly think I'm gonna update this a lot...I've found a story that really interests me. Hey, I'm just a major Taishiro fanatic. :) Well...yeah. New chapters are definitely coming soon, and I hope you enjoyed this beginning. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Hey Izzy!" a somewhat surprisingly cheerful voice answers from the other side of the line. True, my Taichi was usually cheerful whenever he called me, but it had been so long since we last talked that I figured this must be some special occasion, that something was wrong. Relieved to have been proven wrong, I answered.

"Hello, Taichi. How are you?" I asked.

"Great! Hey, I was just thinking about you and realized how long it's been since I last saw you. We've barely talked in like two months and we haven't hung out for even longer. I miss you, man, and my family's out tonight. My parents are having an anniversary trip and Hikari is staying overnight at Miyako's place. So whaddaya say you come over and we have ourselves a good time?" he asks.

I smile. I answer his question honestly before my doubts become conscious enough to resist his offer.

"That sounds great. I'd love to. What time would you like me to come over?" I ask.

I realize that I haven't answered anyone so happily in months.

"Great! I'm glad you're up for it. About seven should be fine. It's gonna be great, man, we can whip out the controllers and get started back where we were in _Digimon World: Tamers _back before you went and started getting too busy for me." I can hear Taichi mock pouting–I've learned how his voice sounds in nearly any situation.

"I've missed you, too, Taichi. That sounds great. I'll see you then." I smile, and he agrees. I smile again. We both say goodbye and hang up. I'm left standing up (the sound of his voice had actually provided me with the energy and enthusiasm to get up from my usually hypnotizing computer screen) with the phone in my hand still and a gigantic grin plastered upon my face. For once I wasn't feeling too worried about seeing Taichi all of a sudden. Despite all my months of worrying and anxiety, I simply could not be sad right now when I was about to go spend the night at Taichi's house after being away from him for so long. As much emotional turmoil as the thought of him may put me through, being in his presence was always a surefire way to make me beam.

"I can't wait to see you, Taichi," I said smiling, a light tear edging its way down my cheek as I closed my eyes and took in this exciting moment.

About two hours later and I'm standing in front of the door to his apartment. It looks just as it did the last time I was here–the bold family nameplate hung high and the decorative shark tooth giving the entrance a feeling of awe and undeniable courage much like the feeling that consumed me whenever I saw my Taichi-san. Oh Taichi-san, it's going to be so nice to see you again...

"Hey, Izzy." I heard Taichi-san's voice say. Startled out of my thoughts, I looked up. There Taichi-san was, at the mouth of the door, looking right at me with a gigantic grin on his face.

"Long time no see, man." I nodded. He gestured for me to join him inside so I stepped in and carefully removed my shoes, paying my utmost respects in even the most tiny of actions. He laughed as I placed my sneakers carefully in a corner.

"You know you could of just kicked them off and been done with it. No one here cares. Same old Koushiro, I see," he smiles and I smile back. I love it when he uses my real name. My thought evidentially crosses his mind:

"Oh yeah, you prefer being called Koushiro, don't you? I'm sorry, man. C'mon, let's go get something to drink."

I tell him it's okay and join him in the kitchen. He asks me what I'd like, I settle for orange juice (just as he does), and follow him down the hall into his room. Hikari now stays in what used to just be a guest room. The family figured that it would be fairer this way, especially since they seldom had guests come over anyway. I had been the only one who would ever spend the night fairly often, and even I just bunked with Tai.

"What's this? One bed!" Tai exclaimed. "So much extra room! Thank god!" I laughed at his joyous boasts. He did have a point. His room had been much more crowded with junk back when he shared it with Hikari. Believe it or not, Taichi Yagami was not the most unorganized member of his family–that title actually belonged to Hikari.

"Don't you agree, Kou?" he asked me. My heart skipped a beat at his abbreviation of my name. No one had ever called me that, but I rather like it coming from him.

"Yes. Although you know I'd be fine no matter what, Taichi-san," I say respectfully. He smiles.

"Of course you would, you never complain. Seriously, Kou, it's okay to acknowledge when you're feeling cramped. This room was a MESS before Hikari switched out." I chuckle, and concede to his demand.

"Yeah, you're right." He smiles.

"That's better."

"So..." I begin. "What would you like to do first?" I ask him, wondering just what all he has planned for us.

"Well first I wanna talk a bit," he says matter-of-factly.

"Really?" I ask, genuinely surprised. Taichi wasn't usually one to spend time on small talk. "What is it?"

"Why haven't you hung out with me in so long, Koushiro?" he asks. I'm taken aback. That was definitely not the reply I was expecting. I knew it had been a while, but I didn't expect him to comment on it. Especially not with the slight tinge of sadness which I partially thought I imagined but was fairly sure was real and emanating from his voice.

"I...it's not you, Taichi!" I say quickly, trying to diffuse any possibility of him feeling hurt or offended by me. "I swear that it's not!"

He seems to believe me. "I know, Koushiro. But it's about you. You haven't seem to feel happy in a long time. Even back a few months ago when I still saw you regularly you never quite seemed happy anymore. I never saw you smile that natural grin of yours except for when Tentomon was around or when I got you that new software for Christmas."

I smile at the thought of his gift for me–my favorite Christmas gift from the last year.

"Yeah, well...I've just had a lot on my mind. I'm sorry, man." I say.

"Like what?" he asks.

"Well...," I begin, looking to him and then away. The realization of what I'd have to say to answer honestly begins to sink in and...

"It's okay, Koushiro," he says calmly, placing his strong hang on my shoulder. He gives it a gentle squeeze, smiling lightly but brightly at me. His eyes meet mine. I can tell that he saw through to the true frown hidden underneath of my temporarily happy visage.

"It just hurt too much," I say without thinking about how I'd have to explain that statement, and without thinking about much else at all. My forethought was shaken off–there was only my honestly and first occurred responses left to grace him with. I sighed, and opened my mouth again. I looked over at him, his face clearly showing total confusion at my previous statement.

"What was hurting too much?" he asks, his confusion immediately dissipating and reforming as worry. The look in his eyes revealed hurt which wished to help heal mine. I took a deep breathe, inhaled, exhaled lightly, and continued my answer.

"Because I love you, Taichi. And it hurts so much that you don't love me back."

"But I do love you back."

"That's not how I meant it."

"Oh, but this is how _I _meant it," he says, directing his hand to land on top of my own. I glance up at him.

"You mean–"

"Sssh," he says, pursing his lips and edging them closer to my forehead, bestowing it with a light kiss which sends the butterfly equivalent of a million Electro Shockers racing their way through my veins. He squeezes my hand. All I know how to do in this moment is squeeze his hand back.

"I love you, too, Koushiro Izumi," he says, moving his other hand up to rub the back of my neck gently. I let out a small wisp of pleasure. "Don't forget that," he says. "And don't forget this–I love you as you love me."

And with that our lips meet, kissing loving into reality, our mouths and tongues intermingled, saliva bringing my thoughts together as I begin to truly realize what's happening and tears begin to steadily leak down my cheek. He breaks the kiss and places his lips on my forehead, then whispers in my ear:

"I love you, Koushiro. Don't ever forget that."

"I won't," I choke out, sobs starting. I couldn't if I wanted to. I've been waiting for this moment for so long. I didn't know that I was waiting–I never thought that this was possible. But–

"And I'm gonna keep telling you until I know that you _won't_ forget. Because for someone who is such a genius, you sure do seem to forget how much you mean to other people a lot."

I nod. He chuckles. It was such a blunt acknowledgement on my part. I smile back at him.

"Thank you so much," I say, the tears steadying but falling more beautifully than ever.

"Thank _you_," he says, and wraps his arms around my lightly shaking back. "Thank you."

And so I fall into his arms, and let myself fall apart there. He keeps the pieces tucked between his hands and chest, and doesn't let them scatter the least bit.

I really, truly him.

"Thank you," I say one last time, melting further into his chest until all I know and all I feel is the steady beating of his chest pulsing right next, in time, to mine. And in sync with him, I'm happy.

"Thank you," he says, and holds me there for what feels like hours. The games and controllers can wait for a while. This is the true bliss we needed.

The true bliss we need–a dream come true. A dream I had forgotten that I was still dreaming, for all hope had long seemed lost since he and Sora's end, but I could now feel a new beginning–the beginning of us, all I had ever wanted.

"I love you, Taichi," I say, and drift off to sleep in his arms. This moment is perfect, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Not even for a dream–for no other dream could ever feel as good as this.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

When I woke up I found that my head was no longer leaning against Taichi's chest and for a moment I felt a pang of terror that I might have just dreamed the day's events. But then I realized that the blanket on top of me wasn't mine and that I was still in Taichi's room. Mentally breathing a sigh of relief unlike any I'd ever had before, I glanced over at the clock on Taichi's desk. 9:30 P.M. I hadn't been out for that long, thankfully. I'd hate to miss out on my first night hanging out alone with my Taichi-san after having admitted my feelings and having them returned.

My Taichi-san returned my feelings. I felt my chest warm at this, as if the very knowledge of his love was giving me the power and energy I'd been lacking for months. Even though I'd only slept for an hour and a half or so, I felt more rejuvenated than I had anytime I'd woken up in recent memory. Curiously, Taichi was not in the room. I sat up in his bed, presuming that he had gone off to the kitchen or something. I was just standing up when the door opened and my Taichi-san returned.

My Taichi-san. I can't get enough of saying that. It just feels so…right. I beamed at him, and he grinned broadly in return.

"I'm glad to see you're up. Not that I'm opposed to mushy talk or anything, but I would kinda like to kick your ass in some videogames while you're here. For old time's sake," he said.

I laugh. "We've got plenty of time for that. What would you like to play?"

"How about Digimon Rumble Arena?"

"Sure," I say, still smiling. God, I missed this.

He begins setting up the game system while I make his bed.

"Look at you being orderly as ever," Taichi teases.

"Yeah, well…," I say, searching for the right retort. In absence of one I opted to stay sentimental "It was sweet of you to tuck me in."

"Of course. I've gotta pull out all the stops for you."

"I'm gonna pull out all the moves and kick your ass in this game you know."

"Oh really?" he asks smiling. "So you don't wanna get pawned for old time's sake?"  
"Just hand me the controller," I say and the game begins. We go to two player mode and select our Digimon.

"Good old Agumon," Taichi smiles. "I miss him."

"Good old Wormmon," I say. "Those Bandai bastards left out Tentomon, but at least I still have an insect."

The brawl commenced with neither of us making much leeway. He Pepper Breathed, I Sticky Netted, and we stayed about even for most of the match. Then, when we were both approaching the ends of our life bars, I performed a well timed jump over him and attacked him from behind.

"K.O." The intense narrator declared, and Wormmon danced while making his usual endearing happy insect noises.

"No fair!" Taichi moaned.

"It was totally fair," I say, "Never underestimate the power of strategy."

"Some strategy," he says. "A jump and a headbutt. If only that would have worked on Myotismon and the Dark Masters."

"But then our fights would have been over a lot sooner and…I wouldn't have gotten to be around you for as long," I say, getting more sentimental and setting my controller down.

Taichi looks over at me, his playful pout replaced with a touched sliver of a smile. "Kou…"

I lean into his chest, wrapping my arms around him and nuzzling my face by his shoulder. "I really love you Taichi…I've loved you for so long."

"Even back when we were still in the Digital World?" he asks.

"Yeah," I nod. "Granted, I never thought I'd end up telling you. I was way too scared to take that risk back then. We were just getting close and I didn't want to screw that up by telling you how I felt."

"I wouldn't have shunned you Koushiro," Taichi says, rubbing my back. "I liked you a bit back then too, but I didn't fully realize it. It wasn't until I broke up with Sora that I really started to realize what I felt for you. And when we spent so much time apart…it hurt, Kou," he said.

"I'm sorry," I reply, "I just…I knew that I'd end up telling you how I felt if I saw you. I knew I couldn't hold it in for much longer."

"Well I'm glad you didn't," he says and winks, tightening our embrace.

"Yeah, me too," I laugh, and pull away to look him in the eye. "Why do you like me, Taichi?" I ask. "Sora I could understand, but me…" I trail off. "…it seems too good to be true."

"Because you're you," he says, pulling me into another embrace. "You're so sweet, and kind, even if others can't see it. Sure, you're wrapped up in your computer stuff all the time, but honestly I'm envious of how good you are at it. You're passionate about it, and you care about people even though you don't express it outwardly as much as other people do. You're an amazing person. You've done so much to help all of us, and you truly want to make things better."

He lets go of me for a moment, looking straight at me. "You seem so lonely though, and it makes me so sad to see that this sweet boy, this amazing friend to all of us, ever feels out of place or like he doesn't belong in the group. Like he can't confide in us. I miss you Koushiro. You were my rock in the Digital World. Don't get me wrong, I love the others but…Yamato and I have that whole love-hate thing going on, Sora and I are destined to just be friends, Joe's a great guy but we don't mix as well when it comes to just hanging out, Takeru's just too much younger to really be on the same page as me, Mimi is…Mimi, and Hikari's, well, my sister. But you're my best friend. Whenever we had to talk about plans of action, you were right there. Whenever I just wanted to joke around, you were there. Whenever I just wanted to tease you a little bit, well, you were right there," he grins.

I smile broadly back at him, just letting all he's said soak in. I never thought I'd hear all this…especially not while accompanied by the loving gaze he's giving me. "Thank you so much, Taichi," I say. "None of the others really see me the way you do. They don't see what I wish I could show, how I feel," I say.

He hugs me again and smiles, "And no one makes me feel as good about myself as you do. You actually make me feel intelligent and good about myself…the others just make jokes, good intentioned as they may be. I love hanging out with them and it's always fun but sometimes it's nice to hear those serious words. To get that praise…it brings me up. You bring me."

I grin at him, "And you do the same for me." With that we smile softly at each other and kiss again. He feels so soft but strong. So very Taichi. I look forward to getting used to these. We part lips and stare into each other's eyes, blushing.

"I love you, Koushiro," he says.

"I love you too, Taichi," I say.

"Will you be my boyfriend, Kou?" he asks me.

"I've wanted that for so long," I say as I bury my face in his chest once again. "Yes. Absolutely."

"Well then," Taichi smiles. "Would my boyfriend like something to eat?" he asks.

"Sure," I grin. "What do you have in mind?"

"I can make some popcorn if that works," he suggests.

"Sure," I reply, moving my head to gaze at him again. "Thanks."

"Okay," he smiles, "I'll be right back." He gets up and walks out the door, with me watching his every step from behind. He's so handsome, and now…he's my boyfriend. My Taichi-kun.

My Taichi-kun. I'll gladly get used to calling him that. When Taichi returns a few minutes later he has a gigantic bowl of popcorn and a couple of sodas.

"Shall we watch a movie?" he suggests.

"Sure," I say, and help him get everything situated. He pops in some new weird American movie called Sharktopus, and we curl up together on the couch with the popcorn sitting in front of us.

"You know, I think I could get used to this," he smiles.

I grin. "Me too, Taichi-kun."

He notices the change in honorific and grins. "You have no idea how many times I've wanted to do this. To cuddle up against you when we hangout."

"Really?" I ask.

"Really," he smiles and hugs me. I take in the warmth that radiates from him into my heart and close my eyes, at peace.

"Don't let your guard down or Sharktopus will get you," Taichi warns.

I laugh. "He's a very strange specimen. I'm certainly glad we never faced a Sharktopusmon."

"Maybe the new kids will," Taichi muses.

I laugh. "They'll really need our help then, won't they?"

He grins. "There's just nobody like WarGreymon," he boasts.

"Or MegaKabuterimon," I smile.

"Yeah, he's pretty cool too," Taichi winks. The next thing we know, the sharktopus is attacking some innocent bystander.

"He's already been more successful in causing havoc than Etemon ever was," Taichi smiles.

"That fucking Elvis monkey," I snicker.

"Thank ya. Thank ya very much," Taichi does his best impression and I laugh.

"Those were the good old days," I say.

"In a way they were, but I think we have better days ahead of us," Taichi says.

"Oh really?" I ask.

"Yeah, now that I'm with you," he smiles and I nuzzle my head back into his shoulder.

"You're so fucking cute when you do that," he says.

"You're so fucking cute when you do anything," I say.

"I'm liking this expressive side of you, Koushiro. I missed it," Taichi winks.

"I bet," I say. "And just think of the compliments I'll be giving you now."

"Who has a sexy boyfriend?" Taichi asks, grinning.

I laugh and answer "I do." He hugs me.

"That's right," he says. It's then that we hear a beeping sound coming from over on Taichi's desk. He notices that it's coming from his D-Terminal, and gets up to check it. He reads over the new message, then looks at me with one of his serious action expressions from the good old days.

"The others need our help," he says.

"Okay," I nod, and put Sharktopus on pause. "Looks like it's time to face Sharktopusmon."

"Indeed," he grins. "Now let's go kick some ass."

I smile and grab my boyfriend's hand. "Let's." We both get out our Digivices and turn on his computer to go through a Digi-Gate and help out the others. Me and my boyfriend on our way to their rescue…I could get used to that.


End file.
